Il mio soldatino

Tu sei il mio soldatino, la ragione per cui vivo.
Non ti scordar di me. Io veglierò su di te. 
Tu sei il mio soldatino, la ragione ho vissuto. 
Non ti scordar di me. Io veglierò su di te.
Sarai il mio soldatino, ora un principe bianco. 
Ma anche per te c'è una luce che ad un altra vita ti conduce. 

Blessed

Couple of months ago, I upload which I think is my first serious paper/article inside the online magazine Roda da Fortune. And even though now I will write it in a completely different way, I believed it not to be as bad as my auto-demolishing self-esteem wanted me to think. The paper itself had not a significant impact. Not even yesterday, when I remembered in the page that we had our little space in Academia Edu, motivated by the success my friend L had with her first and beautiful article. 

But this morning curiosity made me open the page, just to check if yesterday's sharing had any kind of repercussion. Truth be told, it did not. Nevertheless, there was something waiting for me to notice. An inner message at Academia Edu. I could not figure anything else out than it was going to be another random notification from the settings. 

It was not.

I had a message written in perfect Spanish from Manouchehr Moshtagh, an scholar I personally idolize and nearly worship for his work on Persian Militar and War Arts. He wrote me that he really enjoyed my paper about the Shahnameh. And I nearly cried. Barely I typed a coherent answer to one of the persons I most admire in this Persian world. And my heart bursted between my ribs. 

Who cares about the impact now? I am just feeling blessed someone like Moshtagh noticed me, my  humble project and my Shahnameh's commentaries. And yes, it makes me feel extremely happy. 

Maybe I am doing something right after all. 

Oh, won't you come with me where the ocean meets the sky?

And as the clouds roll by, we'll sing the Song of the Sea. 

You are pissing me off

Spirituality is not a product you can manipulate and paw, even though it appears "exotic" to you. If you do not know how to work on History properly, step aside.

PS: Fuck off. Enough with being diplomatic.

Somos de fuego

Hay un fuego ardiendo en mí, está muy cerca del corazón. Si no lo apago, volará al horizonte.
Si dejamos a la mente que piense libremente, seremos héroes en la siguiente frontera.

¡Se cumplirá, se cumplirá! ¡Casi está a punto de explotar!
¡Puede ser, puede ser! ¡Sé valiente, al menos una vez!
¡Levanta y muévete!

Ven y escúchame, vamos cúbrete. ¡Hay poder en tu mirada!
La luz te ayudará a conseguir un poder de fuego. 
El poder arderá y resplandecerá, el futuro alcanzarás.
Con valor conseguirás un poder de fuego.

Hacia la frontera llena de misterios, yo seguiré corriendo. 
¡Y tú junto a mí!

Please

I've been trying to write for like two weeks. To just sit and write. And this morning I had the perfect revelation for a specific scene inside the Stairs. 

So, please.

For the love of everything. 

Let me write in peace and stop calling me, for fuck's sake!

Not legitimized power

And where the wind would take me
I will carry your voice.
I leave today my origins,
though I don't forget my honor. 

What were you thinking when you stroke that hoe against the christian's forehead? What could you possibly be thinking? When blood covered your plowed land, when wind dragged death's sticky perfume. What then? Were you really thinking you could assume that crown, that legacy, you being just a peasant? 

I love you, D

Sisi ni Sawa means we are the same.
Forget about the past when there is nothing to gain.
At the end of the day, it's like water and rain.
Sisi ni Sawa, we are both the same.



I love you, D.

My inner Valentine

"¿Desde cuándo te llamas Altai?"
"Desde que tú te apellidas Rumi."

Disclaimer to myself

It is mainly disappointing stalking other friend's posts trying to reach a slight of information about how they are doing instead of asking in first place. Do you really mean to accomplish something by that? Aren't you supposed to be all over it currently? If they continue together, if they split up, what has to do with you. You don't care. Why should you care? Repeat it to yourself: you don't really care. You were through hard times and none of them showed up to take your hand. Ok, maybe they tried, and that is worth to remember. But seriously, what did they actually do? Are we asking ourselves these questions again? 

Recently I just watched a video about how to detect and deal with fake friends, and surprisingly I discovered some of the "fake" features in myself. Like demanding attention or claiming for love or kindness from other people. Truly a revelation for me. Not the one I was expecting, since I honestly hoped to watch that video and point at the screen saying "see, this is the kind of people I don't want to deal with, but unfortunately I have to!" or "dude, that is exactly how these people behave, finally somebody representing what I really suffer!". Disclaimer: not that I didn't. I actually identified many other features showed on that video and matched them with people I know well. Too well. But that was the main point of it, wasn't it? The unexpected deal was I saw myself in some annoying demanding postures, and did not like it at all. So I guess, same I did with my thesis, I need to rearrange my mind (again). Jeez, now it was starting to walk by its own once more...

Linking to the former matter on these words, as the friends now "suffering" resulted fake to me in the past, there is sincerely no reason for me to be worried about them. Nor their feelings, nor their thoughts. Because, astonished me, they happened to turn to me when dark clouds appeared on the horizon. Fucking serious? I mean, first you used me and then you lied to me, betraying my confidence and shielding yourself behind such a poor argument as "I wanted not bad to you", to after came crying looking for my shoulder? Fucking serious? Put yourself together and let me be, your disillusionments with life are no matter of importance to my right now. Thanks. 

But in the end I cannot stay indifferent to the situation. Precisely because they (he, specifically) turned his eyes to me in a moment of real anguish. To me. Like... really? From all the people your are surrounded by, you chose me to share your uncomfortable and weak feelings. And the only thing my mind happened to generate was a deeply honest: why? Why me? I thought you and I were no friends anymore. Just acquaintances. Casual mates. But not friends, at least not as I understand them to be. And I found myself locking all the anger and hatred at the walls of my inside and being honest to you. Listening to you. Giving you advice. And truly feeling sorry for your situation. 

My question now is, who is playing the most pathetic role here? Is it you? Is it me? 

I don't freaking get your behaviour. Seriously, I don't get it. You told me you are sorry, you meant no harm back then. You were unconscious. You were blinded by the circumstances. Let me laugh at those sentences, please. 

Still, I feel like I cannot hate on you. At least as much as I feel I should. Maybe I am not as fake as I perceived myself while watching the YT video. 

And since I always portrayed myself as a brave honest dragon, I did it. I straight asked you my sincere question: why? 

"Tú eres mi vida"

Mi pareja me dijo una vez, después de que le contase uno de los sueños que había tenido, que su mente era una GameBoy Color y la mía una PlayStation 4. Me reí bastante. 

Hoy he tenido uno de esos sueños con argumento y tensión, que disfrutas y que intentas recuperar cuando te despiertas justo antes de que suene la alarma. Es que lo he dejado en el momento justo en que la princesa y el ¿mago? se daban un beso. Y ha sido una escena tan bonita que en cuanto saque cinco minutos, la escribo. Aunque no haga nada más con el resto de la historia, es que esa escena me ha robado el corazón. 

Especialmente con la frase, esa frase que le dice él a ella, pasando a tutearla:

"Tú eres mi vida". 

Y sonó el despertador.

Es igual

No cuentes cuentos si no son verdad,
ni prometas lo que no vas a cumplir.