Lucky I found you

True lies in the sentence "exercise makes you feel better". Indeed it does. Maybe that is the reason behind me writing these words in a completely different mood, whereas I created in my mind two days ago in a gloomy feeling. 

I pictured myself, legs crossed in Turkish way, wrists laying calmly on my knees, the chin slightly lifted, so then my eyes could focus the image above my head. And that image was no other than you, you, the Bird (because the bird is the word), the one I often dream to somehow possess, the one I dream to call as mine. But as you are from and to the wind, I cannot own you. And this is precisely the reason I do adore you. Recently, picturing that image in my head, I realized my fascination for you does not came but for what you deeply and formally represent: a bird. Holding both freedom and wisdom inside your chest, between you feathers, and the glimpse of your eyes. And I though to myself "how truly lucky I am, lucky me, because I found you". 

I wish I will no bother myself trying to explain to others what you mean to me, that would not make any sense. And that's a pretty thought. You, for me, can only be understood inside my mind. Projecting a private shape, a secret reserved specially for me, a confession between me and your ethereal perfume in the air. Lucky me because I found you. 

You are the reason that I progress, the reason for every stand up after crawling on the mud. So deep I feel you that it crossed my mind the idea of getting a tattoo with your name. Could you imagine? Your name, in my left wrist, for the rest of my life. Your essence in my neck forever. Your sparkle inside my pupils for the rest of the eternity and beyond. But my allergies and my mixed up skin prevent me from tattooing. At least for now. 

Lucky me because I found you. I feel your presence flying above myself at every stroll on the street. Whenever I surrender, collapse, curse, shit, cry, despair... it's always you. Your story, your figure, your colours, your teachings. They inspire me to go on. To progress. To lear more about the topic I definitely don't fancy, but learning to be alone with it and learning to love it, to comprehend it. To understand there is not always the easy way for those who reach for the sky. You need to suffer and hurt your limbs and your forehead before the things get less difficult. This way you learn. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. Did you see the quotation here? 

Even in my darkest time with friends, you stood always behind me. I observe the world and the people around me and I get often tired. It scares me, because it's getting quicker every month. I get tired of people and their way of life. I get tired of those who complain and do nothing. I fucking get tired of those who think they know absolutely everything and do not hesitate to express it. I fucking hate those who always answer "I know". Do you? So speaking with you jus turned completely pointless, uh? I don't like people who always talk about themselves. It fucking tires me. But you show me patience and calm as two ways of skipping the traffic of tiring people. And then I pretend I listen but I do not, I am actually miles away, just watching the play people offer me. 

Nevertheless, you stay with me in time to tell me to appreciate friends. The ones coming silently and tiptoeing in the back doors. The ones I prefer more and more day by day. 

I am not perfect, you remind me of that. 

Lucky, lucky me because I found you.